Dara Quote…


I am listening to stand-up while working.

In this stand-up, the magnificent Dara Ó Briain says:

They have this all the time with medical stuff on the television, they’ll have a doctor and they’ll talk to the doctor, and doctor this and doctor that and “What happened there?” and “Doctor, isn’t it awful”, right, and then the doctor will be talking about something, with all the benefit of research and medical evidence, and they’ll turn away from the doctor, in the name of “balance”, and turn to some quack witch-doctor homoeopath horseshit peddler on the other side of the studio — and I’m sorry if you’re into homoeopathy; it’s water! How often does it need to be said? It’s just water, you’re healing yourself in order to give yourself the credit.


Jesus, homoeopaths get on my nerves with their old “Well, science doesn’t know everything…” Well, science knows it doesn’t know everything, otherwise it would stop. [Clapping and some non-essential chat] But just because science doesn’t know everything doesn’t mean you get to fill in the gap with whatever fairytale most appeals to you. No. “The great thing about homoeopathy is that you can’t overdose on it”; well, you can fucking drown.


I’m sorry, it seems harsh, and I used to be much more generous about it, but right now I would take homoeopaths and I would put them in a big sack, with psychics, astrologers, and priests, and I would close the top of the sack with strings, and I would hit them all with sticks, and I really wouldn’t worry about who got the [brunt?] of the stick, right?


Anyone [who] in answer to the great questions of life, like “I don’t know what happens after I die” or “Please, what happens after my loved ones die?” or “How can I stop myself dying?”; the big questions — gives you an easy, bullshit answer, and you go “Well, do you have any evidence for that?, and they go “There’s more to life than evidence” — get in the fucking sack.

I’m sorry, [but] herbal medicine, oh herbal medicine, it’s been around for a thousand years, and indeed it has, and we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became ‘medicine’, and the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri, so knock yourself out.


Chinese medicine, oh Chinese medicine, but there’s billions of Chinese, Chinese medicine must be working — here’s the [undecipherable?] on Chinese medicine: a hundred years ago the life expectancy in China was thirty, the life expectancy in China at the moment is seventy-three, and it’s not fucking tiger penis that turned it around for the Chinese. Didn’t do much for the tiger either, if you don’t mind me pointing [that] out. Oh, but they’re so wise, they have one word for ‘crisis’ and ‘opportunity’, yeah but they also have one word for ‘China’ and “Tibet’, and it’s ‘China’, so fuck them!



(As he talks quite fast, I may not have caught everything, but it’s roughly accurate…)

I don’t entirely support that there should be a divide between Tibet and China, as the last thing Central Asia needs is another religious dictatorship, but I do agree with most of the rest of this…


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